Do you question the origin of Tom's new baby (WHO IS THE REAL FATHER)?
Are you wondering what Tom's and April's life is like?
Do you like cereal commercials?

Wonder no more- here are your answers http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
558153

Anybody enjoying Sega's new Sonic? We all know Sonic has been bad for ages because Sega doesn't give us what we want:

A game where Sonic kills DRACULA of course but BEHOLD I did the impossible:

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
551801

I hope your computer can handle this high end game. It features Dolby Digital audio!

no need for you fags to read this. i just post those for myself to lol at them again in the future. if you still read my chat logs for some reason just feel free and if you enjoy them you are cool

[23:05] Roaneah: Oh, look, there's a picture of you!
[23:05] MarkP0rter: haha whats it
[23:05] MarkP0rter: is it the fat dude or a real picture?
[23:05] MarkP0rter: oh yeh i think its actually me /avatar showing up
[23:05] Roaneah: Handsome!
[23:05] MarkP0rter: yeh im afraid thats what i look like
[23:05] MarkP0rter: why thank you
[23:06] Roaneah: How do you feel about a man giving you a compliment?
[23:07] MarkP0rter: well the first thing i did when i got my house was brick up the back door
[23:07] MarkP0rter: thats how straight i am
[23:07] Roaneah: Gays love a challenge.
[23:08] Roaneah: I'm bored. Say something interesting and witty.
[23:08] Roaneah: I demand it of you.
[23:08] MarkP0rter: Roaneah is quite a strange now. i couldnt figure out if its male or female
[23:08] MarkP0rter: and from the avatar i couldnt figure out if its male or female either
[23:08] MarkP0rter: so im glad to know
[23:08] Roaneah: Ooh, harsh.
[23:09] MarkP0rter: that depends on how you view it
[23:09] Roaneah: Are you saying I look like a lesbian, or that I'm sexily androgynous?
[23:09] MarkP0rter: haha i dont know what to say which probably couldnt be considered to be rude so i better dont say anything
[23:09] Roaneah: After I called you handsome and everything.
[23:09] MarkP0rter: you know there are some chicks where you are like GEE is that an ugly dude
[23:09] Roaneah: Unacceptable.
[23:09] MarkP0rter: and dudes where you think is that an ugly chick
[23:10] MarkP0rter: or just an unfortunate dude

[23:10] Roaneah: Wow, you're a bit horrible, aren't you?
[23:10] Roaneah: Goodbye Mark Porker!
[23:11] *** "Roaneah" signed off at Mon Jan 25 23:11:08 2010.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: hey
You: 14/f/cali
Stranger: nice how old?
Stranger: oh my bad haha
You: its okay ^^
You: u
Stranger: 16/m/mass
You: kewl
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: are you a virgin?
You: no
Stranger: oh i see
You: haha yeh
You: had sex with my bf
You: 3 month ago
You: broke up :C
Stranger: oh nice
Stranger: not the break up obviously
Stranger: how big are you tits?
You: hehe
You: my friends joke about them :C
You: they are C already
Stranger: thats not a bad thing
You: yeh but you know im the only girl in class with that size
You: so it feels odd
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: do you ever cyber?
You: ^^
Stranger: is that a yes haha
You: ;) im wearing a red skirt
Stranger: mmm anything under
You: tight black thong
You: u?
Stranger: you have a pic?
Stranger: im wearing a tight white tee and boxers
You: let me find a pic ^^
Stranger: ok
You: http://www.goatse.fr/
Stranger: thats fucked up ive seen that
You: its still hot though
You: i like men with big dicks
Stranger: really
You: of course
Stranger: do you like phone sex?
You: yes
You: like
You: i got this cute pink motorola
You: and when im all home alone
You: i set it to vibrate
You: and put it into my panties
Stranger: nice
You: its so hot
You: but lol
You: one time i was really getting it on
You: and my mother called and i picked up :S
You: she heard me scream O_O
Stranger: how about i call and you moan to me
You: yes
Stranger: what is the number
You: hold on
You: im getting my phone
You: and closing my door
You: so nobody will hear ^^
You: XXXXXXXXXXX
Stranger: thats like a fuckin government number
Stranger: is that ur number?
You: We must inform you that this conversation has been monitored and the history of this conversation has been saved to our data base. We also recorded your IP address. Be aware that talking to minors about sexual content is against the law and you will get contacted about this matter in the near future. You may get a lawyer and save this conversation.
Stranger: good one
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Gamescom was quite fun. I got to play a lot of upcoming games and I got a Dead Space tee

http://smackasloth.deviantart.com/ i am back on deviant art
yay

kawaii ^_______________^

http://markp0rter.deviantart.com/art/S onic-and-Balls-113794220

So I used to have this voice actor on my contact list who hasn't talked to me since I've posted "Married to a Fish". He would just not reply to me on MSN/AIM/e-mail until now. You can scroll down to the "THIS IS WHERE THE FUN STARTS" part if you want to skip the rest.

[21:44] Scott: And I hate to say it, but some of your stuff isn't that funny. I watched your christmas thing.... didn't even laugh once. Sorry
[21:45] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno (me): no need to be sorry for that one
[21:45] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: because its simply a matter of taste which is alright
[21:46] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: i know a lot of people who hate the shows i love and i hate a lot of shows other people love
[21:46] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: and thats just normal and alright :)
[21:46] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: but just because you dislike my animations doesnt mean youve to dislike me
[21:49] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: or is it like that?

Boring shit you can ignore:

[21:49] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: there is no harm done in telling me. just be open and tell me whats the matter and then its cool. we could have done that way earlier already. ive always liked you so of course ive shared all my stuff with you because you are a cool guy
[21:53] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: im just saying the way it is. ive always liked you and considered you to be a friend so ive told you all the stuff but if you dont have the guts to talk about anything and if you hate me so badly
[21:53] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: just because of the stuff i create alright. its like blaming a hitler actor for playing hitler
[21:53] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: i guess ive had the wrong impression about you which is sad but life
[22:41] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: well ive tried my best and if thats your decission i had a wrong image of you
[22:41] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: i should learn to not easily trust people on the internet but it you seemed really cool

Keep on reading here (THIS IS WHERE THE FUN STARTS):

[22:42] Scott: It's not all my decision, dude
[22:42] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: how so?
[22:43] Scott: My agent wants me to slow the free stuff I do, and if I have to, get their permission on projects. They demand quality in every aspect of projects
[22:44] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: but what does that have to do with not being my friend?
[22:45] Scott: I figured it'd be best. I hate having to let go slowly, so I made a decision, and stuck with it. Granted, it's not the best, but I am trying to eliminate my hesitations.
[22:47] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: hm i really dont know what this all has to do with your agent. its not about doing free voice acting work for my shit animations which arent funny
[22:47] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: but just about being an internet mate
[22:48] Scott: Like I said, it may not have been the best choice, but it was a choice nonetheless. You were cool, but it seemed to slip each time we chatted. Hell, you did, if my memory serves right, some pretty lame things. Men would laugh at you, man
[22:49] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: lame things?
[22:49] Scott: As far as friends and relationships
[22:49] Scott: Chickened out on a lot of things, a real introvert
[22:50] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: in a nutshell its best to not talk to me because im a loser and bring you down?
[22:51] Scott: As I've read in the manual they gave me, "if I wish to be successful, make sure your friends good, your family is good, and no weirdness. Paparazzi love digging up dirt on people, especially on successful people"
[22:53] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: Congratulations on joining Scientology
[22:53] Scott: That's not even funny
[22:53] Scott: I HATE Scientology with a burning passion
[22:53] Salmonella Men on Planet Porno: Well Ive laughed a lot about it
[22:54] Scott: If other things weren't the final straw, that definitely was
[22:56] Scott: Ugh, I'm so mad right now!
[22:59] Scott: I'd've thought you were better than that

[23:01] *** "Scott" signed off at Tue Jan 13 23:01:16 2009.

So I've been jobless for about 2 month now but don't worry. Your mate got a new lovely job. Of course I'm a bit nervous but also excited. So today is my first day of work. I got up at 6am. Yesterday I've printed out some plan how to get there (bus, train, tram, 8 minutes of walking and trying to find the way). Sadly there is a shitload of snow on the streets. I'm 22 years old and I've never experienced so much snow here. It's at least 20 cm (8.6 inch) high. So my way to the bus station which normally takes 30 seconds suddenly takes 6 minutes. A bunch of people are waiting at the bus station but there is no bus coming at all. So I go home and listen to the radio where I hear that there is no bus driving around in my city at all because of the snow. Hm so that's it for now. No clue how to get to work. That's a great start for a first day.

Today I cooked Taco for the first time ever in my life. Also I have to admit I had never eaten Taco before. It made me realize something:

When I was 14 I did some 3 weeks long work experience at some company that did (they don't exist anymore) 3d Animations. I would learn to use Maya (very very basic skills) there. They also had a copy of Flash 4 which got me totally excited. I was a fan of Newgrounds for a long time already (since I saw some report on TV about Newgrounds on TV when I was in Spain). So I would teach myself Flash 4 on their only Windows PC (The other PCs were Silicon Graphics computers which run UNIX I believe). Of course I fell in love with Flash and I was surprised how easy it was. Every time I saw animations on Newgrounds I thought a lot of coding was actually involved to make stuff move in Flash.

So the first Flash animation I have ever done in my life was "Taco Wacco"- a talking Taco with some moustache and a Sombrero.
After eating this Taco today I've realized Taco Wacco was actually a Nacho and not a Taco.